# Job Interview Questions

G

#### gaurav

Jan 1, 1970
0
Hi Guys,

Recently I came across a blog which can be of great help to you and
your friends to crack an interview.Its interview helper.Here is the

http://interviewhelper.blogspot.com/
Hope this blog helps you in your job search.

Thanks and Regards,
Gaurav Nanda

D

#### D from BC

Jan 1, 1970
0
Hi Guys,

Recently I came across a blog which can be of great help to you and
your friends to crack an interview.Its interview helper.Here is the

http://interviewhelper.blogspot.com/
Hope this blog helps you in your job search.

Thanks and Regards,
Gaurav Nanda

I know my interviewer is a dope when after 40 minutes of conversation

Responses I'd like to use but never did were:

"You fkn moron.. What do you think? We've been talking all this time
and you can't rate my communication skills?"

"Better than the designers you hired with thick accents from Russia,
China and India."

"Let me guess. This is your last day."

"Ahhhh errrrr yuuuuourr uffff ruff ruff."

"Before I answer that, I should say my salary expectation just went
up."

"Did you read a dummies book on interviewing?"

"I rate my communications skills an 8 out of dimwit!"

"Can I get another interviewer?"

"Let me talk to the designers. You're annoying me."

Yup...I hate interviews.
If HR wants to interview me, it'll have to be at front row seats at a
racetrack.

D from BC

V

Jan 1, 1970
0
D said:
I know my interviewer is a dope when after 40 minutes of conversation
D from BC

If you are so smart, how did it happen that you are getting hired rather
then hiring by yourself?

VLV

D

#### D from BC

Jan 1, 1970
0
If you are so smart, how did it happen that you are getting hired rather
then hiring by yourself?

VLV

Huh? Can you express that another way.. The question doesn't make any
sense...

D from BC

R

#### Rich Grise

Jan 1, 1970
0
If you are so smart, how did it happen that you are getting hired rather
then hiring by yourself?

Huh? Can you express that another way.. The question doesn't make any
sense...[/QUOTE]

It's functionally equivalant to, "If you're so rich, howcome you're not
smart?"

IOW, if you're so smart, why don't you already have the job, and be the
one doing the interviewing?

You're right, it doesn't make any sense. ;-)

I once spend almost half a day on a job interview trying to write a
prime number finder in C. I didn't get the job. The next day, at the bus
stop, I wrote a sieve of Eratosthenes on the back of an envelope in about
four lines.

Cheers!
Rich

N

#### Nico Coesel

Jan 1, 1970
0
D from BC said:
I know my interviewer is a dope when after 40 minutes of conversation

Responses I'd like to use but never did were:

"Can I get another interviewer?"

"Let me talk to the designers. You're annoying me."

Yup...I hate interviews.
If HR wants to interview me, it'll have to be at front row seats at a
racetrack.

Indeed. Some interviewers / HR managers are a complete joke. Like:
....the first 3 years you'll have a temporary contract (*).... ...we
want our people to be devoted to our company.... ..how is your general
health condition? (**)...

(*) maximum allowed by law
(**) illegal question

I declined their job offer politely!

I

#### Ignoramus19284

Jan 1, 1970
0
As a general rule, the people who end up in HR are people who are no
good for anything else. That's why they are so stupid. They need to
justify their existence, so then end up inventing numerous corporate
absurdities.

i

M

#### [email protected]

Jan 1, 1970
0
As a general rule, the people who end up in HR are people who are no
good for anything else. That's why they are so stupid. They need to
justify their existence, so then end up inventing numerous corporate
absurdities.

i

Can't they clean the bathrooms, vacuum the floor, or do the

R

Jan 1, 1970
0
Can't they clean the bathrooms, vacuum the floor, or do the

No, the wetbacks got all of those jobs.

Cheers!
Rich

I

#### Ignoramus19284

Jan 1, 1970
0
Can't they clean the bathrooms, vacuum the floor, or do the

I would be surprised if they could do such jobs.

i

D

#### D from BC

Jan 1, 1970
0
Indeed. Some interviewers / HR managers are a complete joke. Like:
...the first 3 years you'll have a temporary contract (*).... ...we
want our people to be devoted to our company.... ..how is your general
health condition? (**)...

(*) maximum allowed by law
(**) illegal question

I declined their job offer politely!

I've had illegal questions and didn't want the job.
In which case, I have some fun and stun HR..

HR: "How is your general health?"

Well....I masterbate 4 times a day to keep my prostate in good shape.
I also give myself an enema daily around lunchtime for better bowel
function.
Then weekly I undergo leech therapy to get rid of bad blood.
And ...I'm circumcised for reduced penis infections.

D from BC

M

#### [email protected]

Jan 1, 1970
0
I've had illegal questions and didn't want the job.
In which case, I have some fun and stun HR..

HR: "How is your general health?"

Well....I masterbate 4 times a day to keep my prostate in good shape.
I also give myself an enema daily around lunchtime for better bowel
function.
Then weekly I undergo leech therapy to get rid of bad blood.
And ...I'm circumcised for reduced penis infections.

D from BC- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Well ya never know... they might just give you the job anyway, if
upper management realizes an illegal question was asked.

Gee, if I were interviewing, apart from the mandatory basic math
questions (I can't believe how many college graduates can't evaluate a
triple integral), I'd ask, "So... tell me why I should hire you."

M

D

#### D from BC

Jan 1, 1970
0
Well ya never know... they might just give you the job anyway, if
upper management realizes an illegal question was asked.

Gee, if I were interviewing, apart from the mandatory basic math
questions (I can't believe how many college graduates can't evaluate a
triple integral), I'd ask, "So... tell me why I should hire you."

M

"So... tell me why I should hire you."

I've been accepted by your competition but with a $2000 cash bribe to their HR. I'll give you$2200.00 cash because I have a shorter commute
from home.

And my sister is really hot and single and can attend company
parties.. (show picture).

D from BC

M

#### Michael A. Terrell

Jan 1, 1970
0
Ignoramus19284 said:
As a general rule, the people who end up in HR are people who are no
good for anything else. That's why they are so stupid. They need to
justify their existence, so then end up inventing numerous corporate
absurdities.

i

That's because there are only so many jobs for newscasters.

--
Service to my country? Been there, Done that, and I've got my DD214 to
prove it.
Member of DAV #85.

Michael A. Terrell
Central Florida

K

#### krw

Jan 1, 1970
0
Indeed. Some interviewers / HR managers are a complete joke. Like:
...the first 3 years you'll have a temporary contract (*).... ...we
want our people to be devoted to our company.... ..how is your general
health condition? (**)...

(*) maximum allowed by law

Which is kinda silly since most states are at-will.
(**) illegal question

Certainly.

I have a head hunter calling me now that keeps telling me what a
great company she's representing. She commented that I didn't seem
to be excited about the job. Well, she hasn't told me anything
useful about the job. What I have been told makes it worth more of a
look but information would be good right about now.
I declined their job offer politely!

Nah, HR goes away after the new-hire orientation meeting.

K

#### krw

Jan 1, 1970
0
Well ya never know... they might just give you the job anyway, if
upper management realizes an illegal question was asked.

Sure, there is one just opening in HR. ;-)
Gee, if I were interviewing, apart from the mandatory basic math
questions (I can't believe how many college graduates can't evaluate a
triple integral),

Exams are difficult to do. You'd better have a well documented
standardized one or someone's going to sue you for discrimination.
*That's* what the HR types are doing; insulating management from
suits. Blame the lawyers, not management.
I'd ask, "So... tell me why I should hire you."

That's a good question, if asked honestly (impossible for HR). My
let them explain what they've done. Be sure to ask questions but add
nothing.

R

#### Richard Henry

Jan 1, 1970
0
Which is kinda silly since most states are at-will.

Certainly.

I have a head hunter calling me now that keeps telling me what a
great company she's representing. She commented that I didn't seem
to be excited about the job. Well, she hasn't told me anything
useful about the job. What I have been told makes it worth more of a
look but information would be good right about now.

Nah, HR goes away after the new-hire orientation meeting.

True.

You should ask to speak to their IT department before accepting the
job.

K

#### krw

Jan 1, 1970
0
True.

You should ask to speak to their IT department before accepting the
job.
Me? I haven't even talked to an employee yet, mush less been offered
a job. Why would I talk to the IT department? (I have some ideas,
but I didn't think them universal)

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