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Why I haven't been posting too much this weekend.

(*steve*)

¡sǝpodᴉʇuɐ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥd
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edit: Don't look if you're a bit queasy about blood

IMG_6542b (Custom).JPG

I was unsure whether the humor thread or the graveyard thread was most appropriate. I couldn't decide, so I started a new thread.

It's a "cooking injury", not my wife's efforts to bonsai me.
 
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Ian

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Ouch :eek:. At least you'll get plenty of iron out of that meal!

How'd you manage to do that?
 

(*steve*)

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It is a mandolin slicer finger injury. I would advise you NOT to google that. And if you do, don't look at the pictures.

Mine is a pretty minor one.

Really, don't google it.

That photo was over 24 hours after I did it, and with it still bleeding my doctor advised me to go to ED. I couldn't go earlier because I still had a day (and it turns out a day and a half) of cooking to do.

From the ED I was sent to the QUAC, and one of the nurses and I had a nice chat whilst she was holding my hand.

I say "holding my hand", what I mean is "squeezing my finger *hard* over the open wound until it stopped bleeding"

And I did it after dicing an onion, so I didn't bleed over the food, and the bit of skin was actually left sitting in the V of the mandolin. It wasn't worth salvaging to be reattached -- you'd have to do something a lot nastier for that.

If you visit google, you really won't be able to get this out of your head. If you do (and you are going to despite my warnings, aren't you?) then be slightly reassured that you feel a bit of shock, but less pain than you might think -- at least for a tiny one like mine.
 
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KrisBlueNZ

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I just HAD to Google it. Trust Steve, the pics are pretty disturbing.

This is the equipment he used to create the effect, called a Mandoline. I think perhaps these should all be dismantled and destroyed.

Info from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandoline

220px-Cooking_Mandolin_with_Carrot.jpg

A mandoline consists of two parallel working surfaces, one of which can be adjusted in height. A food item is slid along the adjustable surface until it reaches a blade mounted on the fixed surface, slicing it and letting it fall.

Other blades perpendicular to the main blade are often mounted so that the slice is cut into strips. The mandoline juliennes in several widths and thicknesses. It also makes slices, waffle cuts crinkle cuts, and dice with firm vegetables and fruits.

With a mandoline, slices are uniform in thickness, which is important with foods that are deep-fried or baked (e.g. potato chips), as well as for presentation. Slices can be very thin, and be made very quickly, with significantly less skill and effort than would be required if cutting with a knife or other blade.

A mandoline is used by running a piece of food (with some protection for fingers) along an adjustable inclined plane into one or more blades. On some models vertical blades cut to produce julienne, or a wavy blade is used that produces crinkle cuts. In these models a quarter turn to the food between passes produces dice and waffle cuts.
 

hevans1944

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My wife bought one of these contraptions last year because we are moving toward an organic veggie diet. They do have a plastic thingy with sharp metal spikes protruding from it that is supposed to be used to hold food (in lieu of using your hand) while slicing. Eschewing the device because it is useless, she cut herself in a similar manner to @(*steve*) while trying to slice a sweet potato to make french fries. Remember, this device is brought to you by the same folks who invented the guillotine, probably for similar reasons. They all appear to be made in China now, originators of the "death of a thousand cuts" so caveat emptor. You won't catch me using a mandoline! My sympathies, Steve.

Mandoline.jpg
 

Harald Kapp

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I prefer a good sharp knife over those supposedly practical kitchen aids.

Get well soon, Steve!
 

(*steve*)

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I prefer a good sharp knife over those supposedly practical kitchen aids.

Heh. Mine is almost a commercial device. For what they do well, they are far better than knives. The problem is that in use you get really close to the blades -- they're anything but inherently safe (but neither are soldering irons). I'm always keeping an eye out for a food processor that can do the job (even half as well), but you're looking at serious $$$. I might upgrade to one of these.

Eschewing the device because it is useless, she cut herself

*never* do that. The only exception is for long things like carrots and celery. I'm quite comfortable doing those by hand until they're about 5 to 6cm in length. Then in the hat they go!

In my case the last piece of an onion was stuck in the blades (at the point that the hat could no longer hold it), and I tried to flip it out with my thumbnail. I slipped and my forefinger met the blade!

The one thing they're not good for is cutting (hard) vegetables lengthways. I use a knife for that.

The stooopidist thing is that I do have a slicing glove that I occasionally use when I'm cutting lots of stuff (with a knife) finely where I need to hold it close the the blade. It never occurred to me to use it with the slicer of death. That's going to change!
 

(*steve*)

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And I've just learned a lot about standards for gloves. :)
 

(*steve*)

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IMG_6550 (Custom).JPG

Looking (and feeling) a lot better now.

In fact it looks no worse than the normal wear and tear after pressing "delete" for a string of Danny Davis' posts. :D
 

shrtrnd

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I second Ian's 'OUCH".
No infection. You took good care of it.
 

Arouse1973

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Oh my Steve, not good. Also your finger has started to grow hair, how odd. :)
Adam
 

Arouse1973

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Don't panic Steve, I have just the thing for you. The nose stylus :)

nose_stylus_01.jpg
 

(*steve*)

¡sǝpodᴉʇuɐ ǝɥʇ ɹɐǝɥd
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Will that nose stylus work with the capacitive touchscreen? The dressing on my finger stops that finger from working.

Also, do they make a longer version? I can't read that close unless I don my SMD soldering headset :D
 
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